September 10th /2024 - Chemo Continues - Prostate Cancer Awareness Month
It's 3:19 Tuesday morning as I start to write this blog. Let's go over some of the thoughts in my mind for the blog:
- I'll lay out the land scape here in this blog and then create a video a little later when there is light outside that can help illuminate the room so you can see me! lol
- The Prostate Cancer Foundation website, available at https://prostatecanada.ca, is a highly dynamic and forward-thinking platform that offers a wide range of services tailored to support individuals affected by Prostate Cancer. Through my interactions with multiple team members, I have found them to be exceptionally knowledgeable and supportive, offering valuable assistance in sourcing resources to aid men and their families in addressing various challenges. To learn more about the dedicated individuals behind this initiative, feel free to visit https://prostatecanada.ca/about-us/our-team.
- Light Up in Blue Campaign: https://www.lightupinblue.ca/ This is a campaign to help bring awareness to prostate cancer. This is a great source of information to get started on understanding Prostate Cancer, who can get it, diagnostics, and treatments along with many more resources. I got my blue light for free and I'm on the map too!
- Canadian Cancer Society - https://cancer.ca/en/ Lots of information here, but more as a general resources for supporting all Cancers. Personally I get more literature and advertising from this society about women's cancer much more than cancers that affect men.
This weeks side effects so far:
- Some neuronopathy - pins and needles in odd spots, dropping things unexpectedly - just once in a while not too often.
- Mouth tenderness, dryness and some swelling. A few populous developing.
- Slight headache, constant never seems to go away.
- Sleep is very broken up. Hard to stay sleeping even when implementing a warm bath (I have a fantastic huge comfortable tub too with massage!) to help get to sleep and stay away from electronic devices for at least an hour.
- Even with that I feel lethargic after a while when I wake back up, but my mind is still going and working on things and my body is restless. Odd feeling.
- Even though I'm working out and going for fairly long walks I am loosing muscle mass. My hips joints hurt now just going up hill in the forest walking the dogs for a while. I usually take them for about a 5 to 6 km walk sometimes more. This has me very concerned and I don't want to loose the ability to walk. That would be devastating.
- Muscle atrophy. Loss of nerve connection can cause muscles to shrink in size, as well as weaken. This especially happens in the feet, lower legs and hands with peripheral neuropathy. Sometimes there are deformities of the feet and hands because of muscle loss.
- I think the steroids that I take prior and for a few days during the chemo treatment is causing some serious bi-polar issues. I feel rage sometimes, like I'm in that movie Venom - Let there be Carnage and I'm the creature!
Let's Talk about Stress:
- Too much stress from the away family members with kids going through separation/divorce with young children in tow. At this point there is no childcare availability and no mother living with them. Michele and I are both stressed out about the situation. This is a big struggle for Michele not to get involved in the situation and trying keep a balance so the kids can get it worked out but also Michele is deeply involved in the wellbeing of the grandchildren. Never get in-between a mama bear and her grand children!
- So right now Michele is traveling to Fredericton leaving the house at 5:15 AM to look after the grand kids in Fredericton while her Son goes to work. Michele is not an early morning person (kind of grumpy don't talk to me until I have my coffee!!) and while I have been up for hours she comes down to grab that coffee and leaves pretty much right away and doesn't say a word to me unless she absolutely has too asking where something is, like keys. The stress is adding up. She then packs the car and leaves. She then arrives back home 11-1/2 hours later (4:45 PM) and immediately starts her workday/night. I'll be happy when this situation is done.
- Because of all the traveling and my chemo sessions the dogs are not getting out for their walk as much as they should. They play for a while in the house and back yard and then they get bored and star at me to take them out. It's hard when they are asking and missing the exercise they need.
- With my short life expectancy and the significant distress, depression and anxiety from all avenues of life including financial which just makes everything else so terrible that the stress actually releases norepinephrine, released as part of the body’s fight-or-flight response, stimulates angiogenesis and metastasis. This hormone may also activate neutrophils, a type of immune cell. Which in some cases, neutrophils will help tumors grow by shielding them from the body’s immune system; they may also “awaken” dormant cancer cells.
- Chronic stress may also lead to the release of a class of steroid hormones called glucocorticoids. Glucocorticoids may inhibit a type of tumor cell death called apoptosis and increase metastasis and resistance to chemotherapy. They can also prevent the body’s immune system from recognizing and fighting cancer cells.
- So the doctors just want to hit the cancer with everything they got - like using a firehose to douse the source with toxic chemicals until it kills off all the cells. And then follow up with other round of hazardous treatments just incase the cells start to grow again. Like radiation treatments. - Yea, Good idea, expose them to some colbalt-60 developed in the 1950's, that should at least get us started and do the trick. If not let use the good stuff like uranium 238. Okay, maybe that's a little over the top but when it comes to nuculear medicine here is a site that discusses it in detail: https://world-nuclear.org/information-library/non-power-nuclear-applications/radioisotopes-research/radioisotopes-in-medicine
Let's Talk about Questions I've been asked:
- Once people hear the story of my situation they usually say "I'm so sorry" That's when there is a slight moment of silence while I reflect on the meaning of what the person is trying to say and I'm picking up their body language at the same time. Most are sincere but their are some that don't fully understand, it makes them nervous and just want to get on with there own lives. I have been asked about this and here is my thoughts. I think what people are trying to say is that they have heart felt sadness for the situation and at the same time trying to understand how this can happen with our medical system. Maybe a more accurate phrase would be: "I'm so sad for you". In all cases, I am grateful to all of you for your kindness, empathy and support!
- Are you going to do all treatments the doctors put fourth?
- Probably Not. Some of the treatments don't have enough positive outcome clinical data for me to consider viable.
- Some of the treatments could actually be more evasive and cause many severe symptoms that no one - especially me - want to deal with. Imagine getting radiation treatment that radiates the prostate and my hips. There is always "radiation spill over" to surrounding tissue. Like the bowels! What if the radiation causes the bowels to fail for the rest of my short life expectancy? Quality of life is key to me!
- Talking about quality of life, what are your thoughts in relation to an accident or serious incident? If I get into an accident or have a serious medical incident then as long as it is expected that I will have a reasonable quality of life where I'm not bed ridden for years and I have reasonable mental acuity then provide me with the treatments I need. Otherwise execute my MAID plan and end my life peacefully.
- Here is one that I have been asked frequently: When you pass, what are some of you wishes/thoughts you want to be followed?
- I want my wife to move on with her life and not be depressed about me dying on her early.
- I want my dogs to see me dead, because I want them to know I just didn't leave them and never come back. They will understand and it will help them to deal with their depression as Weimaraner's are very attached to their family.
- I want my friends to have a life celebration, not a depressing funeral. Get a BBQ going, some good food, drinks, a live band with friends taking turns stage front remembering how we met, interactions and situations that we helped each other out with and/or funny and interesting stories to share with others that may not have known about. Some of my friends will be traveling and meeting my local friends. It's my hope that they all make some new friends and stay in-touch.
- I want a green burial. I don't see the point of making a huge expensive casket, so airtight that my body liquidates inside it over time. Just bury me. Have the dogs dig the hole! lol.
Chemo Shirts:
I get a new shirt made for every chemo treatment. Here are the shirts I have had made so far:
Well that is all for now, Cheers and stay positive
Please consider donating to my Go Fund Me Page, it helps financially to meet on going costs not being able to work and the costs that are associated with this disease.